Reality Bites
by oh. sweetcheeks
Summary: Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe is a fanfiction writer. At the age of 14, she is “mysteriously transported” into Middle Earth. To her delight, she is met by none other than Legolas Greenleaf and falls in love...She wishes! An unsuspecting Mary Sue gets fooled
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Synopsis:**Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe is a fanfiction writer. At the ripe young age of 14, she is "mysteriously transported" into Middle Earth. To her delight, she is met by none other than Legolas Greenleaf and falls in love...She wishes!

Please note – all spelling mistakes are intenchonal ;)

**Reality Bites**

_by Paigeey_

I sighed with happiness as I finished typing the last sentence to my latest LOTR fanfic. It was about a young girl who appears in middle earth and falls in love with Legoless! I have the most imaginative and original ideas!

Anyways, my OC is tall, and soooooooo beautiful! She's perfect, (just like me!) and everyone loves her, but she only loves Legoless so they get married in the end. It's actually, like, the best thing I've ever written I think.

I re-read my last sentence:

'alleria + legoless wlkd up the steps 2 tha murkwood palasse & lived happily evr afta as the king + queen of the elfs! THE END"

God I'm a good author!

I checked If there were any reviews for my last post. OMG yay! A new review!

'Okay, seriously, what is this? This is a sin against fanfiction and Lord of the Rings in general. Please, please for the love of GOD stop posting this! I've tried to give you constructive criticism in the past but you have obviously ignored me.

All the Best,

_AnonymousReader716'_

UGHHH! What a BITCH! I'm sooooooooooooooo sick of all of these flamers! I quickly pressed the reply button & started typing:

'OMG y r u such a BiTCH? i can rite wat i want 2! u think ur so gud but ur not! stop bein such a h8r and go away!'

_*~Mry__My__$hl33__$u$n__L0w3~*_

Satisfied with my reply I quickly closed down my computer and crawled into bed, wishing (as I do every night) that somehow I could wake up & be in Middle Earth just like the OC in my story...

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_'Ugh, why am I so cold & uncomfy?'_ I pried my eyes open to find that I was lying in a large pile of leaves under a tree. I sat up and looked around. I was in the middle of a clearing in a forest.

'_Oh...my...GOD! I think I'm in Middle Earth! My wish came TRUE!!!"_

I jumped up and looked down at my clothes. I saw that I was still in my little singlet & boyleg underwear that I wear to bed. Rather than be embarrassed, I was pretty happy. If this actually _was_ Middle Earth, then I might get to meet Legoless! If I meet him then he can see how hot I am in my singlet & shorts!

Suddenly, I heard the sound of horse hooves on the ground. I turned around and saw...gasp! gasp! gasp! HYPERVENTILATE!! **LEGOLESS GREANLEEF** RIDING TOWARDS ME!

_'Oh my freaking GOD!!! I can't believe it!'_

As he got closer, I saw that he looked pretty much EXACTLY like Orlando Bloom! He stopped and swung grace fully off the horse to stand infront of me.

"Who are you fair maiden? How did you come to be wandering the forest in such attire?" He asked in a musical voice. I practically melted to the ground.

"Um, my name is Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe, and I dunno how I got here, I just woke up under that tree over there." I explained softly, batting my long eyelashes at him.

"Well Lady Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe, you must come with me." He said, "I will take you back to the palace of Mirkwood." I squealed in delight as I took his outstretched hand.

"Oh, How impolite of me," He said suddenly "I forgot to introduce myself, I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood." He kissed my hand gently. I almost vomited with happiness!

He helped me up onto the horse and climbed on behind me, reaching on either side of me to grab the reigns. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear,  
"Hold on tight Lady Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe."

I smirked, "Please," I whispered back, "Call me Mary-Sue."

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**A/N:** There was part one of Reality Bites :) This was originally going to be a one-shot & I was going to write the whole thing in one chapter but I couldn't resist ending on that line! haha

In case I haven't been obvious enough, this IS a parody and all is to be taken in good fun :) I'm sorry if I've taken anyones character names or _actual_ names, It's completely unintentional! I wrote this off the top of my head and in no way am I using anyone (or any story for that matter) as a real inspriation.

**Stay Tuned for Part Two,**

**In which Miss Mary-Sue gets the shock of her life.**

**Yours Sincerely,**

**Paigeey**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Surprisingly enough, I still don't own Lord of the Rings! (...drats)

**A/N (read before you continue!): **Hello again, welcome to Part Two of Reality Bites :)

I think there may be some confusion about this story (I'm not really surprised seeing as It's quite a _widely known_ fact that I am a confusing person).

This fanfiction is meant to be taken as a parody. It's "poking fun" at some of the more horribly written and ridiculous Mary-Sue fics out there. Hopefully the events of Part Two will make that a bit clearer!

As I rode along with Legolas, I could hardly contain my excitement! But somehow, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched. Suddenly, I felt the horse slow down before coming to a stop. I looked up at Legolas in confusion.

"Why have we stopped?" I asked, "We're not at the palace yet...are we?"

"No Lady Mary-Sue, we are not at the palace yet." Legolas replied. He gracefully dismounted the horse and offered his hand to me, helping me down as well. He stared with such intensity down into my eyes, that I felt my knees go weak.

"Lady Mary-Sue, I have something I must confess," Legolas said slowly.

_'Oh my god!' _I thought, '_He's going to confess his undying love for me!'_ I took a deep breath and tried to keep the extreme eagerness I felt from spilling over into my voice.

"What is it?" I replied sweetly.

"I have only known you for a short time Lady Mary-Sue," He started, "But as soon as I saw you standing in the forest in your strange attire, I knew I had to have you as my princess...Will you marry me?"

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, "YES YES YES YES YES!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!"

I flung my arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him. Before our lips could touch, he pulled away.

"Can you really believe this is happening Lady Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe?" He said with a smile.

"Yes!" I replied triumphantly, "My dream has finally come true! I'm in MIDDLE EARTH and I'm going to marry LEGOLESS GREANLEEF!"

"Well," He said with a funny smile, "I'm sorry to burst your bubble 'fair maiden', but this isn't Middle Earth, I sure as hell ain't Legolas Greenleaf and **you** my friend are on CANDID CAMERA!"

All of a sudden, a camera crew burst from the bushes laughing like mad. Needless to say, I almost died of embarressment.

"That was freaking CLASSIC! Went off without a hitch!" The guy behind the camera yelled., high-fiving a lady with a clipboard and an ear-piece. I looked over in confusion at "Legoless" who was chuckling and sipping a bottle of water brought over to him by a stage hand.

"Wh-what? Well, w-who are you then?" I stammered in shock.

"I'm an Orlando Bloom look-alike," He stated with a large grin, "Sure fooled you didn't we?"

I looked down and frowned, "Yeah, you sure did." I muttered.

"Hey," He said. I looked up, "Sorry toots but **Reality Bites**."

THE END

**A/N: **Woohoo :) What a fun ride that was! Keep going to the next chapter to find out the real deal with this fanfiction and what's coming soon!

**Thankyou for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again!

I thought I might give you a little spiel about 'Reality Bites' so you might find it easier to understand. Now that I look at it form a different perspective, I can see It's a bit on the confusing side.

First of all, I want to clear up any misconception about my views on **Mary-Sues**. I actually like them! That is of course, when they are well written and contain at least some level of realism. Of course, I admit, they are going to be unrealistic seeing as 'girl-falling-into-middle-earth' is never going to happen. However some fics take it a _teensy_ bit too far if you catch my drift.

There are some good Mary-sue fics out there! But for every half-decent one, there are about 10 crap ones that ruin it.

Secondly, I want to "menshon my spellink";) I, of course, know how to spell 'Legolas Greenleaf'. The fact that I misspell it numerous times In 'Reality Bites' is simply in reference to the ridiculous amount of fanfictions I have come across where Legolas is spelt wrong! Along with other words such as Rivendell. Come on people! Its not bloody **Rivendale**! Like I mentioned in the first author's note: "All spelling mistakes are intenchonal ;)"

Thirdly, I want to apologize if anyone has been offended in any way by my story. Any 14 yr olds...sorry. Anyone who actually has the name Mary-May Ashlee Susan Lowe (though I doubt anyone does!)...sorry. Anyone who actually writes fanfictions similar to the one my Mary-Sue writes...sorry.

The whole fic was just a parody & shouldn't be taken seriously. Don't be offended!

Anyways...Coming soon! I'm doing another LOTR parody!

In which:

Instead of Resting in Peace, Like he rightfully deserved, after his death Boromir wakes up in a strange land. It looks just like home...but there's a twist. It's overrun by young teenage girls who are in love with him! Can he outrun them before it's too late and he (at 40 years old) is forced to marry someone at least 26 years his junior? Throw in a seriously confused Haldir and you've got one Hell of a Parody!

Lovingly entitled my favourite word..."**Drats!**" is coming soon to fanfiction . net!

Thanks for reading,

_Paigeey_


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